Saturday, May 14, 2016

Leaving personal messages, etc.

Hi. It´s me again.

If you want to communicate with me, and don´t know my e-mail, you can send me a message through the comment section here, and just saying that you don´t want me to publish it.

The comments only get published when I approve them, so if you send me a personal message that you don´t want published, then I won´t, but you have to specify that.

Other than that, I want to thank you again for the great comments and you help you have been giving me so far.


Book download and some thoughts on support of the community, etc.


Ok, let´s talk about money for a while. 

Oh boy. Here we go again. (This is mostly not directed to my English speaking readers, though, and only about the book. What book? Read on:)

Yeah, so I just found out that there´s a version of my book about antinatalism in Portuguese, that people are downloading from the internet. 

This made me rethink about the whole support of the community issue that I talked about once or twice, here.

I thought of working full time on with this blog and other related ones, but I had over the years little financial support to make it a full professional thing in my life. 

The friendship and other factors that I got from this blog are invaluable. But finacially speaking it hasn´t brought much money to me. I don´t get money from Google, nor from ads, that are almost inexistent, with the exception of the ad from Mister Mean-Spirited´s blog, on the right (his website is very good, though very acid, go check it out!)

After some time I decided to even take out the donation button, and only brought it back with the idea that maybe somebody could do it, but what the hell. I decided to continue the blog as my own thing, almost a personal journal on the web. 

I thought people could, theoretically, like the content and decide to help me financially a little bit, as I dont have a regular job, and I don´t have a regular income, property or etc, I thought this could be done like the Patreon does for other content developers. 

Two things about this. If people like the content, couldn´t they theoretically help the creator with it? And another thing. I see young kids making money with shitty youtube channels, through Patreon and ads. I thought maybe I could give it a shot. It would be good, because I like this blog and I like writing what I write here (for the most part). 

And it really makes me think it is unfair when comparing with the average annoying shitty youtuber, when the content here (at least) used to be full of philosophical and intimate discussions, that I thought resonated with folks,

But, you know. A little mea culpa. I know that my blog is not very professional, in the sense that I post whenever I want, and etc, and people don´t like that very much, it also is very simple, no fancy gimmicks etc. Plus I understand that when people reach this blog, they are, probably, like I said, in a very bad place in their lives as well, so they wouldn´t probably have a lot of resources to be prone to donate to the first person that ask them, whoever this is. Plus, you know, you may not like the blog, thinking it is badly written, etc.

I get that. I get all of that. 

So I just chilled with it. Really. If you want to donate, as a thank you, it´s fine, if not, it´s also fine.

But then I became aware that my book (A última filosofia) is now being downloaded and shared freely on the web. 

Alright. I don´t want to be a pain, but I´m not exactly a wealthy person. I don´t live on the streets because I live with the folks, as anyone who follows my blog knows. But I don´t have regular money or anything. 

I´m writing this here so I can illustrate that I gain absolutely nothing (in regards of money - other than two donations and the only ad I have on the right) writing this blog. If you think that whenever someone visits me I get some money, you are wrong. I receive almost no money from this (exception is the ad revenue from Mr Mean Spirited and two one time donations).

And now, on top of that, the thing that I wrote to sell is being downloaded and shared freely (mostly by Portuguese speaking people naturally). 

I know the internet has a culture of "free" everything. Free music, free movies, free radio, free everything. And I don´t want to be the one to tell you to stop that, because the internet is its own thing now and nobody can stop it. 

But, speaking of movies, it´s one thing to download things from huge studios, that have the know-how and the means to get money from people anyways, with merchandise, toys, ads, and whatnot. 

And another thing is downloading something from a guy who lives in the basement of their parent's house (I don´t live on a basement nor a house, but you get the point). 

Another thing altogether is if you like the guy, and/or like the content he creates. 

If you like the content someone creates, why not help the person if the person needs? Isn´t it strange as balls that you like someone and download the means of that person receiving some small amount of money? 

I honestly thought the community in general couldn´t that, but lo and behold. 

I already receive almost nothing with the books. And now with people downloading it, it will probably become nothing.

If anyone downloads Benatar´s book (I didn´t, I bought a hardcover), for example, at least he is a professor in a University with a steady and regular job. But it doesn´t make much sense to like Benatar´s idea, and just download his book, specially in a niche philosophy as this is. We buy the book to have it, and it also to show support, to the man, and to the idea that is dear to us. 

I don´t get this at all. I mean, if I was rich, or at least if I had money to fully provide for myself, a house, a car, pay medical bills, etc. I wouldn´t mind at all people downloading my stuff. Really. 

But as I sit here, on a house that isn´t mine, 32+ years old, with no steady income, as I receive almost zero from this blog, and now aware that people are sharing the book, it kinda almost seem that the community doesn´t give a crap to the very people that help the community, which is kinda insane, and perhaps it is a trait of this community.

And if the money that would be generated from the book wouldn´t make a difference, fine. But it does. I needed it.  

Look, I get it. As a community people here don´t like to do anything 'by the books'. But what it would be like if religions did the same. Christianism for example. For all the ideas of giving up wordly life and all that, they have done a lot to themselves. They built churches communities.

If you say "yeah, this is cool, but this is how we roll, we don´t need to help anyone on our very community", then the community just dies out, reaching nobody else. 

Is that the goal here?

And if you don´t like the book, for example: why download it? And if you do like it, why not support me by buying the thing? You can´t? Oh. Alright then. (But I can´t shake the feeling that most people can, though.)

It seems the community, as a whole, does not give a crap, which kinda sucks, but which is fine, in the end. It would, however be VERY, VERY FINE, if I didn´t need any financial resources. 

But anyways. 

/Rant over

(I like the people here, and this is not to guilty trip anyone, it´s just a reflection. Cheers buds)

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Friendship part 2


I´m not going to sugar coat it. This story is a bit weird.

But here it goes. 

I knew this guy since 2008. I met him in a social network group for aspiring writers. He was a soft spoken guy and had interest on stuff people normally discuss like movies, and pop culture crap.

A few years passed. It took some time to meet him in person but eventually he came to my town to work about three years ago, so we went out a couple of times, generally with my another person (my ex, the other friend, or a colleague). 

Eventually. He came out as a gay person. And it´s not that he hit on me, but he began making some odd comments and regards, and asking pictures of me.

The point here is this. 

It´s not that him being gay made me uncomfortable. 

It´s the fact that he betrayed my trust. 

I'd like to believe friendship is more or like brotherhood. 

So when a friend began to talk funny to me, this is where friendship broke down. 

He knew me before. He knew I was straight. He knew my ex-gf, and he knew (or maybe knew) I was still thinking of her. There´s just something that gets broken whenever a guy who was your friend, tries to make the moves on you.

The lesson here is that people will forget about you, once their agendas get in the way.


This last friend was the one that stuck for longer. He is a cool guy, but when push came to shove, he choosed his preferences. I was alone, and needed to have a small contact with human beings and he just choose to hang out whenever his schedule was perfectly fine for it. He has a gf and he had his schedule, so whenever it was right, he would hang out, but... just the exact time so he could move on to another activities. So I choose to go to his gym, to practice a bit of martial arts. But when I asked him to go to running on the week, he couldn´t. Nay, he didn´t want to get a little bit of his schedule moved. Things like that, even knowing I was a disaster after the ex broke up, and other minor stuff, made me realize that he isn´t exactly what I thought of 'friend'. Also the fact that he was pretty much the only person I was counting on that time. 

Friendship perhaps does not exist, but the way I see it, it was supposed to be this good thing, where you respect your friend, your brother in arms. 

Mind you, these are people I thought "cool" enough to be friends to begin with. 

Perhaps there are only friendship between people who are fighting wars, or defending points of view, or holding similar thoughts, other than that, in general, people will disappoint.

Thanks for reading these, and the latest batch of my complaints. I´m no superman. I´m just some guy.

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